Guide to Being a Gentleman

Guide to being a Gentleman: Things Every Man Should Have on His Person at All Times

This is the first installment of my series of posts entitled “Guide to Being a Gentleman”, which I will henceforth refer to as “GTBAG.”

9 Things Every Man Should Have on His Person At all Times:

  1. Photo ID – This should go without saying; but keep at least 2 pieces in your wallet at any given time.
  2. Cash – We may be accustomed to using debit and credit, but cash is always a handy thing to have. It is easier to keep track of your budget when you only take out a certain amount per week/month. Never take more than $200 from an ATM at any time, in the chance of being mugged.
  3. Change – $2 – $5 of change can always come in handy, especially with vending machines or small purchases.

    Altoids Notepad Tin

    Altoids Notepad Tin (Photo credit: DangerPup)

  4. Mints – There’s nothing worse than getting up close a personal with a lovely lady, or networking with a fellow in that industry that you care about, and you realize your breath stinks.  Keep a small container of mints in your pocket whenever you go out just in case. Altoids and “Frisk” are best.
  5. Handkerchief/tissues – You never know when you’ll need to blow your nose, or if you’ve been working hard, or it’s a hot day, you’ll want to wipe your face; doing so with your sleeve or hand can be rather unpleasant. Kleenex and some other brands make “pocket packs” of disposable tissues. These are best kept in your coat pocket. Never put a used tissue back in your pocket; throw those dirty things out!
  6. Lighter/Matches – Even if you don’t smoke, you have friends (Or possibly even a lady) who do. If they forget theirs or run out of fuel, they would be ever grateful for your foresightedness.
  7. Pen – Because you sometimes need to write something. Fits best in your jacket pocket.
  8. Pocket Knife – May seem excessive; but a knife does have other uses besides protection. If you get stranded in the wilderness, for example, it’s a good thing to have. Don’t conceal it anywhere you might receive a pat-down (Such as an airport or night club), or trouble will ensue.
  9. (Optional) – Moisturizer/Lip balm – Keep moisture in your skin and/or lips; because dry skin is unpleasant.

Things you don’t need:

  1. Flask – Although they can be stylish,  you don’t have any reason to carry your liquor everywhere you go unless you want to look like an alcoholic.
  2. Gum – Might seem like a reasonable alternative to mints; but, nobody wants to talk face to face with someone chewing like a cow. Pop a mint in your mouth, and nobody but you will know. Save it for when you don’t need to interact with others.
  3. Nail clippers – I have actually seen this suggested. leave your clippers and their by-products (Nail clippings) at home.

Comment Question: What kinds of things do you never leave home without?

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Vulgar Persuits of a Classless Society

“Fat”

Ladies and gentlemen, I think our society needs to redefine the word “fat.” It seems a popular blogger has criticized the model Kate Upton for being fat, which absolutely puzzles me. According to this source, the model is five feet and 10 inches tall, and weighs 125 lbs.

Below are two images. One is of a blue whale, and the other, Kate Upton. Can you spot the difference?

Hint: Super models don’t jump.

Now, I am no expert, but Miss Upton appears to have very little fat on her, or at least it is specialized to, err, certain areas. She is by no means fat. People, fat hilariously means: having too much flabby tissue. There is absolutely no flabby tissue on that body. I fear for the future of women who think this is fat.

“I’m just so flabby.”

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