Vulgar Persuits of a Classless Society

Dancing

I find it interesting that people who go to clubs, don’t really go to dance; but rather to “dance”. Now this may sound odd to many readers. Ladies and gentlemen, you are probably wondering what I mean by this. When I was a child, I used to dance to music, and I had a lot of fun doing it. Just moving your feet and arms in some way in time with the music; however, these days “dancing” is not about having fun. It seems to be about looking “cool” or “sexy”. This, I do not understand.

Figure 1: This is how I would fling my feces, if I were a monkey.

Friends, dancing is not about gyrating all your jelly-like (Or competely un-jelly-like (Depending on the consistency of your muscles, compared to the consistency of jelly)) muscles in order to attract a suitable (Equally sweaty) mate. Dancing is about fun; or so I thought.

 

"No, that's the point. It only LOOKS like we're having sex."

Dancing, by definition, means: to move one’s feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps, especially to the accompaniment of music. Nothing I’ve seen young people (Particularly those my age) do even slightly resembles that definition. I believe that is refered to as “Dry humping.”

Figure 3: The terrifying nightmare that came up when I searched "Waltz gif" in Google Images. (It also came out much larger than I intended.)

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